New Year. New Beginnings...

I always feel very reflective at the end and start of the year and this time, more so than usual. And while I can acknowledge that some good has come my way, 2021 will always be the year that I lost my Dad.

I don't feel like the person I used to be; I’m not better, I’m not worse, I’m just a different me. Perhaps it’s temporary; it has only just been a few months and I’m still grieving. I sometimes find myself imagining that my Dad is still here and I think of what he would do and say if he were. I knew my Dad didn’t have the best health but that is still no preparation for losing a parent. And as weird as it may sound, this has made me comfortable about when it’s my time to go. I’ll be happy to be able to see my Dad again and I’ll catch him up on all that’s happened since he’s gone.

In the days that followed my Dad’s passing, I was touched by all the kind messages people sent us. It was such a comfort at the time and it honestly meant so much to me, my mum and sister. My Dad will always be the strongest person I know.

I recently rediscovered my love for drawing. I was reminded of this when I found a watercolour paint set as I was tidying up my Dad’s things. He would boast to everyone about my drawings. ‘She’s got a natural knack’ he’d say or he’d peer over my shoulder when I was drawing and say ‘it’s coming along nicely’. He had even hung up some of my pictures in his office. Drawing is now something I am indulging in whenever I have some free time and it’s a way I feel close to my Dad.

My goal for 2022 is simple- I’m going to focus on being healthier and kinder to myself. I’ll keep on working to create the life that I want and if things take longer than I hope or if things don’t quite go my way, that’s okay. I’ll just keep on going on....

And with all that said, I wish everyone a very happy and healthy 2022. May this new year bring us all some much needed relief, happiness, good health and joy.