Nuisance calls can be fun!

Some nuisance calls can be light entertainment...

Some years ago, I received a call from a guy called James (or so he said), claiming that I was due PPI money back. The conversation ended up being quite amusing. I never did forget the conversation; this is how it went:

PPI Guy: Hello ma'am, this is James and I am calling to tell you are owed PPI from the personal loan that you borrowed in 2005

Me: In 2005??

PPI Guy: yes ma'am; you borrowed money in 2005 and you repaid that in 2009

Me: Oh really; how come I don't remember taking out any loan then?

PPI Guy: It was a long time ago ma'am; but I have it written here that you borrowed some money and now I have money... from the PPI to give back.

Me: Yea; but I don't want it. I didn't take out any personal loan ever so I'm not owed any PPI

PPI Guy: Then why do I have it written here that you are owed it back?

Me: I don't know. Where did you get my number?

PPI Guy: That's not important ma'am. But it's important is that I send you this money.

Me: But it's not my money and I never took out a loan

PPI Guy: Yes Ma'am, you took out this loan because it is impossible to survive without a loan

Me: No it's not. I've never taken out a loan and I'm still alive.

PPI Guy: Ma'am; that is not possible. You cannot live without a loan.

Me: You serious James; you actually think that you cannot live without a loan?!

PPI Guy: Yes Ma'am, it is impossible

Me: Well, James I am worried for you now. How much are you spending?

PPI Guy: Excuse me?

Me: James, I am worried about your financial situation. I think you need to stop spending so much money. You're supposed to live within your means, not be borrowing money.

PPI Guy: But how can you say that ma'am when you have borrowed money before?

Me: Because I didn't

PPI Guy: Yes, you did. For your car that you bought in 2005.

Me: Why would I buy a car if I don't even know how to drive?!

PPI Guy: You can't drive. But you have a driver. I know it ma'am

Me: Errrhhh....that's ridiculous!! Anyway, I'm not owed any PPI.

PPI Guy: But; ma'am you are. It says here that you are

Me: Well; I still don't know anything about that. Why dont you just send this money to charity then?

PPI Guy: which charity?

Me: Oxfam?

PPI guy: what's that? Oxford?

Me: No....leave me alone. I want to watch tv

PPI Guy: oh; and what movie you like to watch?

I finally hang up